No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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