drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
