maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
