I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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