I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Randomize