Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
where are you?
Hypothermia
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
