I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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