I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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