I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
