you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
