i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
