So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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