Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
