Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
