imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
