I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
