Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
