i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
