Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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