Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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