Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
