your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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