There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize