If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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