I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
