The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm sobbing to NWA
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
