You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
