It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I intend to get homeless drunk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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