The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
