Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
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