just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You took a bar mat shot.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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