If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
