it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
