I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
