this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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