U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize