No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
