The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
