He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize