he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
