Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
