You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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