ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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