gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
