I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
