evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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