I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
