the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
