so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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