So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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