Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
