Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
