She's JV to your varsity
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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