Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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