sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
