The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
