On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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