I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
